Kitten Skyes tips for the empowered submissive.

General tips for an empowered submissive

So I thought I would write some tips on how to stay empowered and safe as a submissive, mainly aimed at new submissives but quite generally applicable. These come from my own experience on the Fetish scene and that of the people around me. Everyone plays in a different way and I'm not preaching but here are a few things I think every submissive should know. Which things would you add to the list? Anything you disagree with? Let me know in the comments section.


-Ask as many questions as you like to the Dominant before you decide to meet or play with them, this does not make you a bad submissive this allows you to feel secure.

-Ask others on the scene about the Dominants past and their safety whenever and wherever possible.

-Share and communicate with other subs regarding the safety of other Dominants.

-If meeting a new Dominant to play for the first time always have a safety measure in place ie: taking someone with you, someone expecting your call etc.

-Make sure someone outside of the play knows where you are.

-You are not less important than the person you are choosing to submit to. You are allowing them to act out an exciting role play activity WITH you and anyone who can't see that is a dangerous person to play with. There is no Dominant without a submissive.

-Know yourself, know how far you can go, know how much after care you need and communicate it clearly.

-Read as much on the subject of BDSM as possible, specifically safety, psychology and subdrop - knowledge is most definitely power.

-Understand your fetishes and where they come from. Acknowledge and accept them, accept who you are and enjoy it. This is a process and until then you may suffer from feelings of guilt and shame which are natural but not exactly fun.

-Find ways you can help yourself to feel better during subdrop, hot baths, exercise, writing - whatever it is don't rely solely on the Dominant to help you through it.

-Write out a list of all the things you like, the things you don't like and the things you would never do (hard limits) it doesn't matter if you only like one thing and have 10 hard limits, none of this makes you a bad submissive.

-THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BAD SUBMISSIVE!

-Always play with a safeword, never feel like you can't use this at any time. You are there by choice and if you decide you don't want to continue at any point the play should stop.

Be wary of "Dominants" who seem overly against any of the above.

Kitten Kisses
Kitten Skye x